Raw
by InsightDelight
Summary: We are indifferent. We can be vindictive, and we will blow your mind. We are dissidents with no boundaries and nothing left to live up to; why waste these years being rational and sober? M for drugs/language/sex.
1. Preface

**So I sort of feel like I didn't get the response that I was hoping for from She's So High. I am most likely going to take that down, and since I've made that decision, I have invested all of my free time into this project. If you watched the US premiere of Skins, then this may sound familiar. That's because - you guessed it! - that's my inspiration. I'm in love with the whole prospect of Skins and I couldn't help but pull this little thing together. I started writing last week, but after the premiere, I changed some things and enhanced the introduction. I'm not following Skins, by any means. I just like the character interaction and the party/music scene. It's kinda badass to me? **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi. I do not own Skins. I do own some leopard print duct tape that I used to decorate my phone. **

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**_RAW_**

Smoke poured out of the hearse with Eli, Adam and Fiona. The three teenagers laughed over nothing and struggled to keep their balance as Eli locked his car and they proceeded to walk through the school parking lot.

Everyone on the school campus knew of the Dissidents. To some, they were misfits with style; to others, they were edgy, non-conformists who weren't afraid to party hard and kick anyone who stood in their way. Somehow, they had become Degrassi High School Royalty. Each of them were respected in a different way by the student body and the best part was, none of them had asked for the attention – or even wanted it. The only possible exceptions to that statement would be Drew and Ali.

"Hey, lady and pimps!" The trio turned around to see Drew trotting up to pace with them. The four friends stepped out of the brisk weather and into the musty, rodent-infested school. What's pretty on the outside isn't always heart-warming on the inside. "Damn!" Drew exclaimed with a grin. "You three smell like straight heads. Good morning, I presume?"

Drew considered himself the Alpha of their band of friends. He was a well-dressed smart-ass in serious need of a reality check. But he didn't have time for one of those because he was too busy with football, karate, and art. Drew Torres was confident and found a way to seem high-class while living in the city with his fellow middle-class society. He had no problem charming the most beautiful women, and still, he continued to string his sort-of girlfriend, Ali, around. She was clueless to the fact that he played her, which he was fine with. The longer she remained in the dark, the longer he could have her in his life without ruining the friendship they had before the sex.

"You are on point, my friend," Eli replied, smirking devilishly. His eyes were glazed over and he was blissfully unaware of the distinct smell of burnt weed trailing behind him and his closest friends. Even his black, shaggy hair let off the odor of his reckless, irresponsible teenage life that he loved with everything in him.

"What the fuck is Kathy wearing?" Fiona giggled a little louder than she had meant to. Eli, Drew and Adam turned their attention to the freakishly tall chemistry nerd as they strolled by her locker. Her gaze was downcast and her lips pursed in embarrassment.

The group laughed but Adam still managed to chastise his friend between gasps for breath. "You're such a bitch. She heard you, Fi!" Fiona simply flipped her brown curls in disinterest.

"Ask me if I give a shit," she responded proudly. Fiona was not your average high school attendee - not that any of her friends were. But she was particularly special because she was the only girl who could give Drew a run for his money in terms of confidence. Fiona Coyne was openly bisexual, and still managed to be a trendsetter and the girl that every one wants to be with. She carried a palpable attitude that was put into play for nearly every person in her life. To Fiona, no one would ever be good enough for her. Oddly enough, she was into guys and girls, but could find nobody.

"Seriously, bro. We all know that Fiona's heart is iced over," Drew teased, earning a punch in the ribs from the aforementioned brunette. "Ouch, lady!"

Adam rolled his eyes and continued to glide through the halls of Degrassi, avoiding the consistent stares and guaranteed whispers by adjusting his dark blue beanie nervously and watching as his Converse stepped - right, left, right, left – trying to match the steps of Fiona subconsciously. Most would assume that because he was the Little Torres, he would be into the player and hustling games like Drew. However, Adam was perfectly content with a kick ass video game and a good 'ol bowl pack.

"Someone needs to clean this nasty fuckin' floor," Adam whispered unknowingly. His eyebrows were pulled together in confusion or disgust – he couldn't decide which of the two categories to place it in.

"_Someone _needs some ADHD medication," Drew retorted smoothly.

"Nah, someone just doesn't know how to handle all this big boy grass in that little boy body," Eli smirked, shoving Adam's shoulder playfully to let him know that he was only joking. Adam and Eli could joke about nearly anything regarding personal behavior and/or appearance. However, most people could not get away with it. The two of them were more of brothers than Adam and Drew; they were best friends and knew each other better than anyone else.

"Eat a dick," Adam retorted with a smile.

"Not yours!" Shot Eli, clearly shooting at his transgender situation. Adam was definitely a male between the ears, but between the legs? That was a different story.

Drew and Fiona laughed with Eli and Adam despite the touchy subject. "Zing!" shouted Drew, earning even more glances from the horny girls as his voice bounced off of the chipped lockers and ugly yellow walls.

"Yeah," Fiona agreed. "That one even stung me a bit, Adam. You good there?" The four continued on like this, goofing around and insulting each other until they got to their spot.

There was a certain table in the annex that sat in the corner of the room, surrounded by wall-length windows. Drew, Eli, Adam and Fiona met there with KC, Ali and Jenna everyday before school, during lunch, and whenever they had a free period or simply decided to skip class. All of the other students knew that this spot was reserved for the Dissidents, as everyone else called them. It was an unspoken, unwritten law of sorts.

Jenna was already waiting for her friends, her nose stuffed into a book that was undoubtedly about death or possession or both. Her blonde hair shielded her face from the outside world and her black fingernails tapped on the table without any particular beat.

"Hey, sexy." Fiona smiled down at her friend, taking a quick seat next to her. Jenna looked up from her disturbing words and welcomed everyone with a slight nod while she chewed on her chapped bottom lip in uncertainty.

Everyone knew that Jenna was self-destructive. She'd attempted suicide a handful of times and she was only happy when she was swallowing pills or inhaling cocaine like oxygen. Even then, she wasn't happy – but the closer that Jenna Middleton could swim next to death, the better she felt. The worst feeling in the world to her was waking up in a crisp hospital bed after having her stomach pumped; her life saved.

The five delinquents fell into a comfortable conversation while they waited for the remaining two to show up. Once the seven of them were together, they were unstoppable. It was only a matter of waiting.

"I heard Marisol cut her wrists a couple of days ago," said Fiona casually, sipping her water.

Adam nodded, drumming his knuckles on the table and nodding his head to a tune that he heard playing in his head – the song that Eli had playing in his hearse on the way to school. "She did. I saw them in math yesterday." He used his index finger to draw a line across his other wrist briefly before shrugging. "She said they bled a lot," he drawled, continuing his fantasy drumming.

"She did it wrong," Jenna informed her friends abruptly. "You're supposed to do it vertically." Feeling the worried stares of her peers, Jenna nibbled on her thumb, nearly ripping the skin off. Sometimes she wished that she would just not speak, because she felt like a freak every time she opened her mouth. Even still, she wouldn't be a part of their crowd if there weren't _something_ off about her.

Eli scoffed, leaning his chair back on two legs. "She's looking for attention."

"How do you mean?" Drew questioned, his eyes piercing his good friend's.

"Think about it," Eli laughed darkly. "No girl broadcasts her depression. If she was really broken enough to cut herself, she would be hiding them instead of treating them like show-and-tell projects."

Drew didn't seem convinced. "I don't know… Jenna doesn't have a problem letting the world know about her detrimental hobbies of choice."

Eli waved his hand in dismissal. "Jenna's also -"

"- I'm also crazy." Eli, Fiona, Drew and Adam looked at Jenna with raised brows. "What?" Jenna whispered, self-conscious. "Don't act like that's news to you, or anyone else."

"'Sup, bitches!" Ali shouted, saving Jenna from her uncomfortable situation. KC followed Ali, looking almost as awkward as Jenna felt. His hair was greased down and his clothes looked a little to wrinkled to have been clean.

Ali, on the contrary, looked great. She always did. Her high-waist neon green skirt and white halter did good things for her figure, and Drew immediately noticed. "Hey, baby," he smiled, eyeing her up and down in approval.

"Well, hello," she breathed, sliding onto his lap eagerly and capturing his lips in a passionate kiss that really should have been saved for private time, but as everyone already knew, this particular group did not give a shit about anyone or anything that didn't concern themselves, and a good time.

Ali Bhandari was almost like the Ken to Drew's Barbie – as ass-backwards and messed up as that sounds. Drew sought any and all forms of attention, and he was the 'leader' of their little group (or so he felt). Ali was in love with the obnoxious, cocky boy and couldn't help but follow him around and answer to his every beck and call. She was oblivious to the ways that he used and abused her affection, because in her case, it proved true that love makes you blind. There was nothing special to Ali besides the fact that she was forever devoted to her friends. Her family never understood her, and in a way, the six people around her took a rightful place in her heart as her family.

KC looked at Fiona, Adam and Eli, noting their red, squinty eyes and permanent smiles. His eyes doubled in size when he realized why they looked the way that they did. "Aw, for fuck's sake, Eli!" Eli and Fiona busted into fits of laughter after attempting to hold it in for maybe three and a half seconds. Adam was genuinely confused. "You cock sucker. I can't believe you smoked my shit, man."

"That green was yours, bruh?" Asked Adam, concerned and clearly guilty. Eli and Fiona laughed again, unable to control themselves. Drew and Ali were too busy making out to notice, and Jenna was reading the same twisted sentence from her book over and over again, mouthing them and shaping them into her memory.

"Yes, it's my fucking bud. You all blow, you know that, right?" KC folded his arms across his chest and glared at the trio in front of him.

Adam raised his hands, palms out. "Hey, if I knew it was yours, I wouldn't have smoked it." KC lifted one brow while Fiona and Eli gaped at Adam.

Even Jenna looked up long enough to roll her eyes and mumble, "I call bullshit" under her breath.

It didn't take long for Adam, Eli and Fiona to clutch their stomachs in aching laughter, thoroughly amused that Adam lied to KC's face with zero difficulty. They were all one in the same; lying was nearly impossible within their circle.

"Fuck you, Goldsworthy. Just because I left it in your car, doesn't make it yours. You owe me a dub." This only made Eli howl even louder. They were all perfectly aware that KC would not get paid back. When he dropped the bag in the hearse, it became Eli's new present. He rationalized it as gas money for all the times that he drove KC's broke ass around – and everyone else, too.

Eli was one of the most complicated members of the mysterious clique. He wasn't a fan of life, but he wasn't self-destructive like Jenna. But he did have a masochistic quality within him that was hard to ignore at times. That was most likely what lead him to do drugs and drink, and also engage in sexual activities with countless nameless ladies. Women were nothing of importance to Elijah Goldsworthy. He cared about three females only: Jenna, Fiona, and Ali. He couldn't even muster up any affection towards his own mother. Then again, that was completely justified in his situation. His mother was another story in itself. So Eli took his frustrations out on his body and his health. Girls threw themselves at him because he was brooding and broken, yet sexy. It was strange to him how a sardonic, 'fuck you, and you, too' attitude could be so magnetic, but he went with it.

"So," KC began, changing the subject from his stolen weed. "What are we doing with our shallow lives this weekend?"

Drew sighed dramatically and shrugged his shoulders. "I guess we could go into town. See what's poppin' on their side?"

Fiona's curls shook furiously. "No, fuck that. I can't stand those high-class, uppity bitches. Remember what happened last time?"

"Actually, no… I can't. But that's because I was busy having a good time instead of bitching about every detail of the whole night like some people, Fi." Drew smiled sweetly at her and she responded by automatically lifting her middle finger with a blank face.

"Spinner texted me last night," Eli offered, not interested in Drew and Fiona's banter. "There's supposed to be something happening at his place tonight. I don't know much about it other than that, though."

The crowd remained silent until Ali broke the ice. "I mean, Spin always has pretty legit parties. It could be fun?"

"I don't care how many people are there, or what music they play. As long as I get my pills beforehand." Jenna spoke to the five people around her without looking up from her book.

Fiona groaned in frustration. "Okay, seriously, Jen? I'm not taking your ass to the ER again tonight." They loved Jenna to death, but sometimes taking care of her could be exhausting. It really pissed them off when they just wanted to party and have fun, but they couldn't let loose because Jenna's safety and sanity was always nagging at them.

"Good," Jenna whispered, not loud enough for anyone to hear her.

"Spinner's it is, then," KC finalized. "And don't try talking us out of it, Drew. None of us wanna go to that preppy, suburbia party."

KC was sweet, much like Adam. The two of them were loyal to the people they loved while keeping reserved demeanors. You would rarely find either of them saying rude things about anyone unless they were provoked. This quality made for a great friend, but KC Guthrie had one major problem: He was in love with his best friend's girl, Ali. He hated watching Ali and Drew together because he knew that Drew did her wrong and, to him, she didn't deserve it. But it was a matter of respect and being true to the people who mean the most, so because of those invisible guidelines, KC would never be able to make a move on Ali. That alone tore him apart.

"Fine, fuckface. But when we end up bored out of our fuckin' skulls tonight, no one better come cryin' to me." Drew rolled his eyes and took a quick swig of his Gatorade.

"_Damn, baby! You fine!_"

Ali, Eli, Adam, Fiona, Jenna, KC and Drew turned to see who was causing such a disturbance in the annex. Turned out, it was Owen – one of Drew's idiot teammates – hitting on some girl that none of them had seen before.

The mysterious girl stopped in her tracks and spun around with a look of disgust plastered on her face. She took two defiant steps towards the disrespectful stranger, fire dancing in her eyes. "Number one: I'm not your baby. Number two: If you ever grab my ass again – or touch me, ever, for that matter – you will lose both of your hands. Is that what you want?"

Owen stared at the tiny girl, dumbfounded. He'd never had a girl lash out at him over some harmless game-spittin' and he was instantly defensive. "Calm down, girl. It's not that serious. And you shouldn't make threats that you can't follow up on, beautiful." He smiled icily at her and she stepped closer once more, so that their chests were touching.

The smile on his face disappeared when the girl grabbed the hem of his jeans, pulling them up as high as she could, and hard. He grunted in pain and the unknown girl grinned sweetly. "What was that? Threats that I can't what, now?"

"Ohh, myballs," his voice pleaded, muffled with discomfort. "You're hurting my balls!" Louder that time. Everyone had stopped his or her actions by this point to watch the scene unfold in the annex. People pointed and whispered and giggled at Owen's expense.

She laughed dryly before releasing his jeans, and laughed harder when he took three very fast steps backwards, cupping his manhood tenderly. "Come at me, bro." The girl turned on her heel and clicked down the hallway with purpose.

Once she was gone, the whole room exploded with laughter, pointing at Owen with ridicule. He proceeded to cuss them all out and left the annex, probably to ice his boys.

"Who the hell _was _that?" Drew asked, an interested gleam in his eye. KC knew what that meant and looked away from his friend. The new girl would be welcomed by Drew Torres, and he'd need KC's help in the process of keeping the secret from Ali. He'd been signed up for that job on numerous occasions.

Fiona clapped her hands humorously. "She's feisty; I like her!"

While the group talked about this strange girl excitedly, Eli remained silent. There was something about her that he couldn't help but notice. Maybe it was her short, auburn curls or ocean-blue eyes. It could have been the way that her floral print dress hugged her hips and pushed her breasts up just the right amount. Her long legs went along for days, growing like healthy stems from her sexy black high-heel boots.

Contrarily, it was possibly the fact that she stood her ground. Something about a girl who doesn't let a guy walk all over her was very attractive to Eli. Regardless, he was determined to learn more about her. After all, he was one of the Dissidents. All of the girls wanted a piece of him.

The first bell rang, interrupting the group of seven from their conversations and mindless thoughts. They groaned in unison and stood, gathering what they needed to manage through their monotonous every day routines.

"I don't know 'bout you guys, but I'm gonna need a jay during lunch," KC sighed as he walked away with Jenna towards their first period.

Jenna looked at him with pleading eyes, waving good-bye half-heartedly to their friends. "You don't have any coke, do you?"

KC laughed and wrapped his arm around his dear friend's shoulder. "Christ, Jenna. You're a mess."

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**I really hope that you all enjoyed this first chapter. The next chapter will probably be out in one week (if you like it and wish for me to continue). Please be honest. If you do not like it, then I don't wanna waste my time writing the rest. But I'm very attached to this plot and I think it's going to be a lot of fun! **

**Twitter? Yessir. InsightDelight.**


	2. Adam

**Yeah, so. This took a lot longer than I planned because I changed a couple of things around. I like it a lot more now, and I think you guys will enjoy it as well. So, here's chapter 2 of Raw, ladies and gents. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi, the movie Blow, the Emperor's New Groove (lol), Megan Fox, or James Dean.. Obviously. I do own a box of IceBreakers Ice Cubes gum with only one piece left in it... Sike, I just ate the last one.**

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**Chapter 2 - Adam**

Adam Torres looked like your typical teenaged boy. His bedroom was messy, his blinds lopsided and comics strewn across the floor without purpose. There was no hamper; instead, his dirty clothes were kicked under his bed or hung over bedposts or his desk chair. He did not put that much effort into his apparel, which was clear when he wore ripped, faded jeans with a band-tee and a beanie everyday. Adam was not out to impress anyone, he was only trying to live life and be himself.

"Shit!" Adam hollered, looking into the toilet and seeing strings of red liquid. He cleaned himself up quickly before grabbing a box of tampons from under the bathroom sink.

There was a loud rap at the door, followed by his older brother's shouts. "Adam! I thought you stopped being a girl. Hurry the hell up!" Drew felt guilty for his choice of words immediately, but it wasn't in his character to be apologetic or even show proof of a beating heart within his chest.

The younger Torres stiffened and waited for a minute to be sure that Drew had walked away. He tried to ignore Drew's slip-ups, but it was hard knowing that his brother could walk around without worrying if people questioned his manhood, or sanity – for that matter. Adam woke up every morning terrified that someone would call him out on living a lie. It was already hard enough for some people to accept gay and bisexual people – that much he had learned by watching Fiona struggle through the years. If society was that narrow-minded about something that was actually pretty normal, then how could they ever accept that Adam was a Female-To-Male Transgender?

The box of tampons sitting on the back of the toilet taunted Adam. "You'll never get rid of me," they would say to him. And each time, it stung. There was no escaping the body that he was born in. He was an error, a typo. God made him on accident, and no one could make Adam think otherwise.

His throat felt scratchy and there was intense pressure building in his head, pulsing his temples. "What is wrong with you?" Adam whispered to his reflection, using the bathroom counter to support his weight. "What is wrong with you?" He asked again, louder this time. His body began to shake violently, but when he felt the familiar tickle in his eyes, blurring his vision, Adam's anger was uncontrollable. "I hate you, Gracie!" And then there was glass.

xXx

"What happened to Adam this morning?" Fiona sipped her latte, sliding into her seat next to Drew in their first period Literature class. Her ruby lipstick glistened wildly, showing off the exotic, carefree girl that her friends knew and loved. But her make-up wasn't enough to hide the worry deep within her eyes for Adam and his bandaged arm.

"Oh, I'm fine, Fi. Thanks for asking," Drew sighed, rubbing his temples. The morning had just started, and already, things were spiraling out of control.

Fiona blinked at him defiantly. "I didn't ask, handsome." After another drink and a flirtatious smile from Drew, she drawled, "Now, you're going to tell me. So, spill." Her bare, smooth legs bounced nervously under her desk. Fiona hated when Adam felt out of place and unloved. He was one of her best friends – practically family – and the fact that he could not see how important and amazing he was alarmed her drastically.

"He freaked out, I guess. He woke up and started his, you know… girl thing?" Drew looked away from Fiona and down to his clasped hands, feeling guilty again about his earlier comments at home. "Something snapped in him, and then he ripped the mirror off of the wall and shattered it on the ground." He conveniently forgot to mention the part about him calling Adam a girl.

The brunette closed her eyes momentarily, taking a deep breath. It was hard for her to wrap her mind around everything that Adam felt. She didn't know how to help him, which was a scary, bitter pill to swallow. "What about his arm?" she asked, opening her eyes and fearing the answer.

Drew only gave her a knowing look and frowned, also worried for his younger brother. Fiona shuddered and shook her head sadly, feeling the light brown curls sway against her flush skin. "He's hurting her again," she stated, no question in her voice. "I thought she was gone."

"No," Drew answered, shaking his head stiffly. "Gracie is never going to be gone." Fiona snapped her head to his direction, shooting him a pointed glare. She did not want him to say things like that because as long as Drew, Ali, KC, Eli, Jenna and herself believed them, Adam would, too. "What to you want me to say, Coyne? Gracie won't ever leave him alone, so really… he should just learn how to coexist with her, ya know?"

A dark laugh fell from Fiona's lips with ease, and she raised her chin to declare the upper hand. "Well, it's good to know that his own brother has so much faith in him." Her cool, collected voice danced around the room and stung Drew's ears. He would never be a good brother, but no one else seemed to understand that. He just wasn't any good at caring for other people, which was sick, but true.

"Jesus," Drew breathed. "Adam is sixteen years old. He's going to figure this out in time and then everything's gonna be fuckin' gravy. So stop worrying, yeah?" Irritation dripped from his mouth like venom, which only fueled Fiona's silent fire. She finished what remained of her latte and rolled her eyes at her friend's ignorance.

"You know what, Drew? You're so right," she retorted dryly. He raised his brows at her, waiting for her next comment because he knew that there was no way that snarky, opinionated Fiona would give in so easily and agree with his skewed logic. "No, I'm serious," she added, further enhancing his irritation. "I mean, we should give Adam time to 'find himself'. After all, he's a big boy and he can handle this all on his own. And we'll just ignore the white bandages that are covering his arm!" She smiled sardonically, mumbling, "What's a couple cuts, anyway?" She shrugged and turned away from Drew, rolling her eyes once more.

"I get it! For fuck's sake, Fi."

The two sat silently, lost as to how to handle such a situation. When Eli took his usual seat next to them, they decided to drop the subject until a more appropriate time, and class began shortly after. The whole period was spent avoiding Eli's questioning stares. He had also seen Adam's latest accessory, but hadn't had a chance to talk to him about it. Drew and Fiona knew that Eli would lose his mind and probably leave class to find Adam if they told him right away. This was a predicament that needed to be discussed with perfect timing, but also without Adam knowing.

xXx

"I think my right arm is darker than my left," Ali mentioned during free period while stretching her long arms out in front of her. Her manicured fingernails shined brilliantly and KC couldn't look away from them. "What do you think, KC?"

Hearing his name startled him and KC jumped in surprise. "Um, what? Your arm? Yeah, I agree," he mumbled awkwardly. In reality, he had no clue what Ali had said because he was too busy studying her beauty and resenting his best friend for not recognizing how spectacular his girlfriend was. She was perfect to KC, not just some toy that could be used and tossed away for his own, personal benefit. Ali Bhandari was everything that KC could wish for in a woman. Her flawless body was just a perk – but what KC was really drawn to was her witty personality and magnetic charm.

"Gee, thanks, dick." Ali mumbled, folding her arms over her chest in embarrassment.

KC's brows pulled together in confusion. "Wait, what'd I miss?" Ali was next to him at their table, trying to keep his attention away from her arms. "Seriously, what?"

"You weren't listening to me at all, were you?" She asked, slight humor hiding behind her words. Her brow arched and the corner of her mouth rose into a smirk that she most likely picked up from her good friend, Eli.

"No, I definitely wasn't," KC responded, bumping his strong shoulder against Ali's playfully. Her retaliation came instantly and suddenly, KC's beanie was ripped off of his head and stuffed between Ali's folded arms and her chest. He pulled them apart with ease, shaking them back and forth erratically to hear Ali's sweet laughs flood his mind. The hat had dropped to the ground, but KC had forgotten about its existence; he could only focus on the girl whose touch sent electric signals prickling up and down his spine.

"Knock it off!" She sputtered between laughs, clearly aware that the random students traveling through the halls of Degrassi were noticing her flailing, jell-o-like arms. Ali looked ridiculous, and she knew it, but she didn't care. She and KC continued their antics, tickling here and poking there. Her black hair framed her face and swayed with her body, keeping time with her giggles.

After their few moments of immaturity, KC dropped her arms and looked down to where they rested on the table. "Your arms are perfect, Ali," he smiled. "You're perfect." When KC saw her eyes twinkling, something in his heart told him that – even if for a split second – Ali could feel what he felt. They were both breathing heavily from all the laughing and too many cigarettes, but he couldn't decide if it was the same thing, or something else, that caused the faint blush in Ali's cheeks…

"Jenna!" Ali grinned, breaking KC from his thoughts. "How are you today, love?"

Jenna sat across from her friends, gently placing her books on their table. "I'm still here. What about you?" Her long blonde hair shielded her from outsiders, protecting her inside of her own dark world. There was a fresh coat of black polish glistening on her fingers and she nibbled them unconsciously, ruining the paint little by little.

"We're fine," Ali laughed, leaning down to grab KC's hat. She tossed it onto his lap and smiled sweetly at him. "Just goofin' off. You know us."

Jenna clicked her tongue, looking around uncomfortably. "That I do." Her nails clawed at her neck briefly, attempting to relieve the obnoxious urge to scratch. "So, I wanna get high," she announced flatly.

"What's new?" KC laughed.

"Do you guys wanna ditch the rest of the day with me? I've got happy pills," Jenna beamed in a singsong voice. She silently hoped that Ali would decline and KC would agree to spend time with her, but in the back of her mind, she knew that would not happen. Her life sucked too much for Happiness to show its face.

"T-today?" Ali stuttered, swapping glances between KC and Jenna. "Jen, Adam needs us today. Can't you wait until after school?" Then she began to gather her books and shuffle papers into her school bag. Standing up from the table, she looked down at her friends and blew a heavy breath of air from her mouth. "I really need to finish bullshitting this paper for psychology. It's due after lunch today." She turned to Jenna and pleaded, "Please don't leave today, Jenna." With a short smile, she turned away from their table and headed to the computer lab.

"Well, damn," Jenna muttered in defeat.

"You only have two more classes for the day, George Jung."

Jenna looked up and rolled her blue eyes at KC's laughing ones. "Stop calling me 'George Jung', KC."

"Then stop fuckin' with blow, Jenna," KC shot back, a triumphant grin rolling onto his features.

"You do it, too. Don't be a hypocrite."

"Yeah, well, you matter more than I do," he shrugged.

Life is cruel and tormenting. Jenna had learned this long ago, and wanted nothing more than to opt out. But when KC said things like that, and looked at her with those big, hopeful, worried eyes, a voice inside of her whispered snips off encouragement and love. Jenna would not mind dying – in fact, she begged for it. But on the many occasions that her detrimental behavior did not end as planned, Jenna always found herself thinking, 'Well, at least I get to see KC again'.

"'Least someone thinks I matter," she whispered, looking down at the ugly table.

"You don't mean anything to you?"

Realistically, Jenna knew that her friends loved her and cared about her. She knew that if she were to die, they would all be hurt and that idea was something that kept her up at night. She wanted them all to be happy, but she could only pretend to want to live for so long. She didn't even know why she hated herself so much.

Jenna just assumed that it was a symptom of being crazy.

"I don't mean anything."

xXx

Eli was racing through the halls, desperately searching for his best friend. Adam had skipped their second period English class, and after the news he heard from Drew and Fiona, he was especially worried. The unimportant faces of Degrassi students blurred into a blotchy color of conformity, and he was growing frustrated. He only cared about one person, but he saw everyone else in the world and their uncles. How could Adam be so difficult to locate?

After running circles around the school, he spotted the object of his lunacy shuffling out of the bathroom with his eyes downcast and shoulders drooping. "Adam!" He shouted, waving his hand and picking up his pace to catch up.

"Hey," Adam offered weakly, nodding his chin in recognition. He looked depressed and embarrassed and Eli just wanted his confidant and partner in crime to jump back into his normal, jubilant habits. But unfortunately, Adam's cheerful, positive side was only a façade to keep questioning intruders in the dark about Gracie. The white band of fabric that twisted around Adam's arm alarmed Eli. An immediate red light began to shine, and the dark haired boy clenched his jaw and inspected the bandage with curious eyes.

"What happened this morning, dude?" While Eli stared down on him, all that Adam could notice was the way that Eli's jaw was powerfully defined, and the sharp angles of his face. He could not ignore Eli's muscular neck and the slight stubble that was inching onto his features, enhancing the texture of his skin in a way that Adam would never be introduced to. The fire that he felt earlier in his bathroom was creeping back into him, and he knew that he would have to calm down before he further distressed his closest friend.

"Nothing. I just, lost it for a second." Adam spoke quietly and refused to make eye contact with Eli.

"O-_kay_," Eli breathed. "So what straw broke the camel's back?"

Adam's eyes squeezed shut in irritation. "A straw didn't do shit! Gracie's fat ass jumped on the poor camel – even though all _he_ wants is for the bitch to go away – and his scrawny little legs broke under him! But, get this! You're gonna love this part! Even after the camel fell, Gracie's crazy, pushy, intrusive self decided, 'Hey! I'm gonna hang on and not let go! Let's see how long I can stick around before I piss this camel off so much, it spits on me!' I mean, seriously. Just leave Kuzco alone!"

Eli's dark brows pulled up and he let Adam have a moment to recover after his outburst. When the energy around them had calmed down, Eli mentioned, "You do know that Kuzco's a llama, right?"

He could almost feel the daggers that Adam's eyes were shooting through his body. "I don't care what the hell he is, Eli," Adam enunciated flatly. "He could be a giraffe! I don't give a flying _fuck_."

"Right," Eli drawled, pursing his lips and looking to the ceiling. "But Kuzco isn't a giraffe, either. He's a llama…"

"Goldsworthy, I swear to Megan Fox, I will choke you out with your own suspenders. I will wrap them around your neck, and kill you with them."

A heavy sigh fell from Eli's lips and he gripped at the roots of his hair firmly. "Look, I know you, okay?" He dropped his arms and used one to shove the other boy lightly. "I know _Adam_. Adam is my friend who – who hits on girls at the mall and plays Blacks Ops with me for hours on end. Adam is the person who I can blaze with all day, and we geek out over stupid shit together. Adam has a huge heart and opens it for every person who walks into his life – that sounded fabulous, but you know what I meant. Adam is _you_, man. You. Gracie doesn't have to hold you back forever. As long as you let her, she's gonna do it." He placed his hand on his friend's slender shoulder and smirked coolly. "Chicks do fucked up shit like that, bruh."

That was all it took for Adam to laugh for the first time that day. "You're such an ass," he grinned. But during Eli's speech, Adam actually retained the main idea. He was starting to understand that he was the only one keeping Gracie around. His body didn't have anything to do with her – she was in his head, and he had the power to kick her out. "But you're right. I know it."

"So, what are you gonna do now, sir?" Eli asked casually.

It was still a mystery to Adam in terms of how he was going to handle his situation, but he had made the first and most important step in the process of letting go: he had decided that it was time to let go.

"Well, sir. I'm, uh… I'm gonna break up with Gracie." Adam's brows met when he realized how bizarre his choice of words had sounded, but he shook his head and went with it anyway.

Eli, however, could not let it slide. "Um… _cool_, I guess?" His right arm pumped in the air dramatically while he chanted, "Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!"

"Yeah, yeah. You're making fun of me, but you look like a fist-pumping Guido right now, Pauly D." Eli laughed at Adam's joke, thankful that his sense of humor was showing itself again – even if it was at Eli's expense.

"Hey, fuck you. I wanna be Vinny."

"Not a chance, princess. The ladies love Vin! I'm clearly the closest match," his devilish gleam made Eli proud. "But, uh, I need to go. I'm gonna be late for math and Mr. Jefferson hates me enough already." Adam paused to look up at Eli, finally comfortable and free from his funk. "Thanks, Eli. I needed that."

Eli nodded briefly and saluted the younger boy. "Not a problem, sir. Now, hop away, young grasshopper." Adam chuckled and made his way to his fifth period.

When Eli stuffed his hands in his pockets and turned to head to his next class, he stopped in his tracks and locked eyes with the strange new girl who openly embarrassed Owen the day prior. Her auburn curls bounced and she was smiling slightly, walking in Eli's direction.

"Yes?" She asked Eli, one brow quirked in amusement.

It was not that he was complaining, but Eli purely could not understand how, in a mere matter of seconds, he had gone from simply acknowledging this girl's existence to being approached by her in the hallway.

"Um," he shrugged his shoulders, easily hiding his nerves with his collected exterior. "No?" He had no clue what else to say to her, since he had not spoken to her in the first place. Hell, he hadn't even gestured to her.

A girly giggle bubbled from behind her pink, glossy lips, exposing her perfect teeth. "You're funny." He noticed that she was wearing tight, light blue jeans that hugged her lean hips in all the right ways. Her shirt was forest green and very tight, exposing a fraction of milky skin above the waist of her jeans. A chocolate cardigan hung loosely around her body, dancing with her every move, and she wore tall, brown Ugg boots to accentuate the garment.

With much more effort than he was used to exerting, Eli tore his eyes away from her body and looked at her face once more. There was something about her knowing smile that turned him on, and he couldn't explain it. "I'm also confused," he said sarcastically, shoving his hands further inside of his black pockets while smirking at the young lady in front of him.

"Well," she began. "I noticed you were staring and I figured, 'hey, he must want to tell me something, because he's too cute to be as creepy as the other douche bags that I've met here'." The seductive half smile never left her face and Eli was immediately drawn to it. "So? What did you have to say?" There was a faint laugh heard in her dainty, confident voice.

Quick on his feet, Eli replied, "It's funny you mention that, actually, because I just wanted to let you know to be careful around these Degrassi guys. Some of 'em are creeps." The wind chime of laughter was music to his ears and he took a tentative step closer. "I'm not a creep, though. Stick around me, and I'll give you a few pointers on Panther survival." He winked at her, loving the blush that crept onto her porcelain features.

"Is that so?" she giggled. "You got balls, kid."

"Well, I certainly hope so."

The mysterious girl took another step towards the boy clad in black; they were so close that Eli could smell her mint toothpaste. "What's your name?"

Eli looked down at the beautiful stranger and licked his lips briefly before answering her. "I'm Eli."

She pursed her lips and nodded her head, as if confirming his name in her head. "Great. Well, Eli, I will see you in English tomorrow." She smirked, matching Eli's, and turned to leave, but his large hand caught her arm lightly.

"Second period? You're in my class? I didn't see you today, or yesterday…"

"Yesterday was my first day here, and I've been sitting in the back of the room. That would be why," she explained.

"Why do you sit there?" She did not come off as shy to Eli, so it seemed odd that she would choose the last row to sit in.

"Because, Eli," she whispered breathily, "I like it in the back." She winked at Eli, dripping with sex appeal, and his attraction to her could not be hidden any longer. People in Africa knew he liked her by that point. He released her arm hesitantly and she giggled at his reaction, turning to leave him dumfounded.

"Oh," he squeaked to himself. Then he remembered something important. "Hey, wait!" Eli shouted, catching her attention once more. She stopped at the end of the hall and turned around to smile saucily at him one more time.

"My name's Clare. See you tomorrow, Elijah."

xXx

Adam was exhausted. He couldn't even find the energy to take his shoes off, and he lay on his messy, unmade bed with no intentions of moving unless the house caught on fire. His phone had vibrated a couple of times, but reaching into his pocket for it just seemed like so much work, and he gladly ignored each of the obnoxious buzzes.

He had just begun to doze into a much-needed slumber when he heard, "Hey, sexy! Pick up your phone. It's your favorite bitch." Adam smiled and relocated the lost energy that he needed to remove his phone from his pants.

"Gotta love personalized ring tones," Adam teased, hearing Fiona's lovely laugh on the other line.

"Everyone's worried about you. They've been trying to call you since we got off school, but you ignored them all. I feel special."

"Well, you are somethin' special, milady." Adam sighed and kicked his shoes off, getting more comfortable.

Fiona giggled and he could feel tickles of happiness and love, but he would never tell her that. It would have ruined everything they had. He just had to find a way to be okay with simply being Fiona's friend with benefits. In his twisted mind, it was better than nothing. "Well, thanks, mister. I really just wanted to call and check up on you. Are you okay?"

"I'm great now," Adam answered honestly. "Eli told me to stop being a little bitch, and I did."

"He did not say that to you! I'll kill him!"

"No," he laughed genuinely. "He didn't. He actually calmed me down. I'm good, I swear. You know what would make me feel even better, though?" Adam asked, only being halfway serious.

Fiona shuffled on the other end, and Adam had a feeling that she was one step ahead of him. "I'll be there in ten, James Dean."

* * *

**What's the verdict, fellas? Hit or miss? Feel free to review - I highly encourage it; I love to read your feedback! Be sure to find me on Twitter. I am InsightDelight there, as well! *hugs***


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